Back in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I found myself grappling with performance anxiety that really impacted both how I auditioned and how I performed. I found that I didn’t have too much trouble if I were performing a role, but I did auditioning for one (which made it hard to get the role), and in performing in recital or concert. No matter how much preparation I put in, I would get up on stage and I would shake, I would hyperventilate, my mouth would get dry (once my lip adhered to my upper teeth while holding a high note, which looked weird, and then suddenly released, which made it sound weird), and my voice would suffer the consequences. As a result, I didn’t pursue a lot of auditions, and didn’t do a lot of performing in what should have been a peak time for me as a performer.
I looked for help on what was then this growing source, the Internet. One article that seemed to resonate with me was by composer/guitarist David Leisner. You can read the full article here, but I summarized the 6 rules on notecards that I apparently kept handy for me to refer to in the event I did have a performance or audition. I found 3 or 4 of them in a folder marked “performance anxiety.” I also put each rule into my own words so that it would mean something to me. Here are the rules – Mr. Leisner’s words are in bold, my “translation” in italics below:
- You have practiced to the best of your ability.
Trust your autopilot (aka your TECHNIQUE) to work! - Do not judge what just happened or will happen.
No “what was that?” thinking! - Don’t second-guess audience reaction.
Please yourself only! - Be in the music, in the moment.
Be on stage, not in the audience; be in the GIVING mode, not the receiving one! - Single out one aspect of your playing that is #1 priority (before going on stage)
You can’t address everything. What do you want to focus on? Breath? Expression? - Enjoy! Let your excitement for the music be present!
You perform because you have a passion to perform. Nothing else matters.
I don’t suffer from this anxiety anymore. I have an idea of what ended it, but it’s personal (I actually do keep some things to myself). But finding this yesterday reminded me of what I went through and what other people still go through.
I’m going to write another blog about some other information I found in that folder, and about other resources that I had and that I still have.
Is this an issue for you? How do you deal with it? How can I help you? Just ask. I’ve been there.