Feast or Famine. Dammit.

Last night I auditioned for a role that would’ve fit me like a glove. It was the role of Francesca in Bridges of Madison County, originally sung by Kelli O’Hara on Broadway. A leading role for a legit soprano of a certain age (meaning older than 35). It’s being done by Dundalk Community Players at the end of October/beginning of November.

I was invited to audition for it by someone affiliated with the company who came to see me at Spotlighters in my recent cabaret show, The Not Here Cabaret (coming soon to Germano’s). My initial reaction was, “Oh, I’m sure I can’t make that work with the high holidays/trip to Wisconsin for Ryan’s wedding.” And then I saw the audition notice and realized that I was free from 10/1 on and the show opened 10/27! Plus I had a bunch of free days around which I could be scheduled. We could make that work, right?

Plus, the day I scheduled the audition, Pippin and I took a longer walk than usual and walked past one of those little lending libraries in a park and I found the photographic essay for the 1994 Bridges of Madison County movie, starring Meryl Streep (!) and Clint Eastwood. It’s a sign, right? Plus her 3 big songs (one of which is really an aria) are all in my new Singer’s Musical Theatre Anthology, Soprano, volume 6. This means something. It has to.

Nope. Couldn’t make it work, and if it was a sign, it’s not for this production.

Well, I forgot about Concert Artists of Baltimore’s Gershwin concert, for which I haven’t received a contract yet, but which I’ve been told I’m doing. So I dutifully wrote up all my conflicts on the sheet, like a good little auditioner, and sang the absolute pants off of “How could I ever know.” (Which, coincidentally, was sung by the woman right before me – not quite as-pants-off as my rendition, but sung well.) And the director said, “You have a marvelous voice. But you have too many conflicts.”

DAMMIT.

For 10 years in Milwaukee, I did nothing. And now, this is the second time this year where I was engaged in too many other projects to do something I really wanted to do. And I can’t audition for Candide at the Kennedy Center because it coincides with my trip to Milwaukee for Irish Fest. Even if I could audition for it on Tuesday, before I left, the callbacks are Friday.

DAMMIT.

The up side is that all the things that I’m doing that are keeping me from this role are paid things. I am making a living as a musician/actor and as a teacher. And I’ll be able to go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival a few times, which I probably could not do if I were doing the show. This will make my husband happy.

I am also resolved to learn her songs. This is the first company in the area to do the show, it won’t be the last. (But please, do it soon before I age out of the role.)

And the director liked me and wants to hear me again in the future. So maybe something else will come up.

But still.

DAMMIT.

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