Consequences of Change

I’ve written about change a lot. And I’ve implemented a lot of changes in my life when it would’ve been easier to stay put.

• I left a teaching job without having another job lined up
• I left a husband (without having another one lined up)
• I left a job as a legal secretary to open my teaching studio (without my car being paid off, yet, which had been the prerequisite, and to the horror of my parents)
• I moved from Wisconsin to Washington, DC
• I moved to Baltimore for graduate school (see “left a husband”)
• I moved BACK to Wisconsin
• I moved BACK to Baltimore, despite having a gorgeous house and a full studio of fantastic singers + a college job that I liked well enough

I was thinking of change today because Seth Godin wrote a blogpost the other day called “What will you leave behind?” which, from the title, sounded like it was going to be about legacy. But instead, it was about the consequences of change.

All of this forward motion requires a less celebrated element–all the things you’re not doing any longer.

I am thinking about implementing another change in my life which probably would’ve happened sooner if I had sung more in Milwaukee. And that is to leave the opera chorus. Perhaps it’s because of being at home for the last year and the drive is awful (especially in the rain – I almost missed two off-ramps yesterday because I simply could not see them), perhaps it’s because what fulfilled me 25 years ago isn’t as fulfilling now, perhaps I feel like I could serve my students and myself better without having to end my day early to head down to DC (see “awful drive”). And perhaps I could create more opportunities for myself as a performer if I’m not obligated to go to rehearsal.

What holds me back is that I feel like I will leave behind my identity as an opera singer. Since there is no grand opera company in Baltimore at this point, WNO is my only opportunity to sing in this capacity. And the fact that they’re still hiring me is validating that I can still do it. I didn’t sing while I was teaching in Milwaukee, and my students and peers didn’t recognize me as a singer as a result.

But to stay doesn’t seem practical right now. Or fulfilling.

I’ve already made the choice not to audition for the remaining 2021-2022 shows. Will I audition in January? I don’t know. I will still be a singer either way. Even if the consequence of not singing with WNO means I won’t be functioning an opera chorister, I’m still an opera singer. And I will still be a singer.

All I’m asking for is change. And I’ll accept the consequences.

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Looking to change things up in your vocal study? I will have a few openings after the new year (too busy from now through the holidays). Find out how to start 2022 off with Mezzoid Voice Studio here.